Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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