It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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