yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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