he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Text me some of your sweat
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