im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
