i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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