i wish peter jackson would direct porn
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
