Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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