every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
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I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
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i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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