I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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