So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
