Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
