There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Randomize
