I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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