Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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