We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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