so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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