I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
