I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
