Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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