he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
