I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
