He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
