i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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