he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize