Plan B is the new Plan A
Everything about him screamed your future.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
