I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
