he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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