Already got asked if we're dating
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
