i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
