"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
