Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
