You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
