your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
