dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize