Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
