my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
