Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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