you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
