do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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