And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
