OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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