marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
don't judge my taste in strippers
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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