i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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