Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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