So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
