Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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