I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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