I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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