I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
