Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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