If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
