Dude my mom stole all your condoms
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
