A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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