Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
