Screwed.edu
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
