Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
