So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
