I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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