I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
